Darkness begins to fall upon the front yard as the hot June sun begins to set to signal the end of another day. I look past the cattle pasture alive and green with Johnson grass blowing in the wind and spots of black mixed with brown as the cattle graze. The front of the house was skillfully placed to the west by my Dad’s design so we could always see the beautiful shades of orange, amber, and red blend together at the end of the day. It was built to fulfill every American’s dream of a family; watching the beauty of God as the sun would set next to the most important thing in life, family. Ironic that this would be where that dream died.
I watched as my Mom walked up to my Dad, who was sitting in a hammock between to large oak trees in the front yard. I couldn’t quite make out what she said at first, but I could hear the sadness in her voice; I could hear the tears and the crying.
“Get your stuff, Adam,” she said as she turned toward me, “We’re going to Nannie’s house to spend the night”.
“But we just got back yesterday,” I replied in confusion.
“Just get your stuff,” she replied as she began to nudge me into the house.
I gathered my things that I would need. A change in clothes, my toothbrush, a couple of toys, and my favorite stuffed rabbit. I collected the items and my mom, brother and I left to see my grandmother.
This was when my parents got divorced.
We sat around the brick, gas burning, fireplace as tears ran down my eyes. I was ten years old and finally came to grips about the divorce; I finally realized that this is my life now and my parents were never getting back together. My dad sat across from me in a soft red and black chair he had gotten to redecorate this house after it’s renovation. I could see the worry and sadness in his eyes because he did not know why I was crying.
“What’s the matter, Adam. Why are you crying?” he asked.
“I just want you and Mommy to get back together,” I pleaded. “I just want y’all to get back together like it used to be.”
He didn’t have a response or at least one that I remember. As the next few months went by, I continued to miss their marriage more and more and my Mom realized I needed some help; she worked at North Elementary School, the same school I was attending at the time, and knew the guidance counselor there. She talked to her and she agreed to meet with me once a week to help me through this rough patch by being there to talk to and listen to what I needed to say.
I walked into her room of our first meeting and immediately I noticed that it was not your traditional classroom. The walls were a beautiful yellow, not the cold, white, uniform cinder block walls on all the other rooms I had been in. The room also had a bright blue bean bag chair with what looked like a blue shag carpet under it. The walls were also littered with inspirational quotes and words of encouragement from different famous people. Our first few encounters were nothing special. Although we would talk for 45 minutes each time, we didn’t seem to get anywhere; I suppose I just didn’t trust her yet.
One day however; she had gotten through to me. I don’t know what she said but I remember bursting into tears during one of our sessions.
“What’s the matter, Adam,” she asked in words as soft as silk.
I cried, “I just want my Mommy and Daddy to be together again. I miss them being together so much. No one understands.”
Time again passed.
I investigated the mirror and saw someone I never thought I would ever see. I was 15 years old and my Dad was getting married to someone he had only started dating 6 months prior to now. I was wearing a navy-blue Polo tucked into khaki pants with a white flower pinned onto the left side of my shirt. I took a deep breath and walked outside. The leaves were half way to changing to the colors of fall; orange, yellow, and red blended perfectly with green to create a beautiful mid-October Saturday.
I looked left to the backyard and saw the chairs we had built the day before out of square bales. In the center was a fireplace that would be blazing before the ceremony ended because the wind was cold. Behind that was a large white tent where the dinner and rest of the ceremony would commence.
I then looked to the right and saw the chairs sat up in rows with the aisle pointing towards the middle of the two large white oaks in my front yard. Looking back on it now, it’s extremely ironic that my family had ended in that spot and my Dad planned to make him a new one in that very same spot
I got saved years after this event to lead to this one.
The conviction of God fell upon me once the pastor finished. It’s power and weight was crushing my chest like a 3 ton rock just landed on my sternum. I had felt the conviction of God before but never with even a fraction of this much weight. The weight only grew, and it almost felt like I was developing breathing difficulties. At this moment I knew I wasn’t saved and if I didn’t fix that today, my eternity would be Hell. The conviction was so great that I would be unable to brush it off this time.
My head fell and tears streamed from my eyes. The conviction was so great, it had literally moved me to tears.
My counselor came over and asked, “What’s wrong, Adam”.
I looked at him with tears in my eyes and muttered, “I want to be saved”.
He jumped back to where I was and together, we prayed for my salvation. Once we were done, I could feel the Holy Spirit come into my heart and instantly I was a changed man. I walked out of the auditorium with a huge smile on my face, the love of Jesus in my heart, and readiness to live again
